After the Opening Ceremony

I missed over half of the Opening Ceremony of Rio's 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony, but I arrived just in time to hear Thomas Bach announce the Olympic Opening Ceremony and award the Laurel to Kipchoge Keino along with Bach's amazing speech. I highly recommend you watch all of that if you didn't see it. Like I said, I missed most of it, but I thought that there could be nothing better than that moment. 

In that moment, it was a reminder to me of all the good the Olympic does for people. In the end, this is not about separate teams competing for themselves, this about a world meeting together in the midst of an uncertain future and allowing our difference to be ignored for a time. This is about teamwork, friendship and being together competing in activities and sports that we all love. Sports are a language we can all understand, and it is a great place to begin to understand love, compassion and empathy. it's just an amazing thing to think about.

All Time Favourite Books

I was going through my blog this morning and realized that I had never shared my favourite books. I've shared books I have read but nothing more. I'm appalled at myself to say the least. So without further ado, let me share to you my favourite books of all time and space and so on and so forth.

Note: These are not going to be in any particular order, they're all awesome.

1. Avalon: Web of Magic by Rachel Roberts

We're going to start with the one I always bring up to people. My poor friends hear me rant about it a lot and I'm so sorrynotsorry about that. Hehe.

Avalon Web of Magic is a children's series that originally came out in 2001. It's a twelve book series along with a companion three-part graphic novel. It's about three teenage girls who become friends through trying to save magical creatures from a poison that is scouring their home world: Aldenmoor. It's all about activism and protecting the planet while teaching great lessons about friendship while also being practically the best magical-girl book series to ever be written. I have cried more than once over this series and am so in love with it is almost sad.

Confession: I have a fan letter that I have written for the author, but sadly she is completely disconnected from any social media and there is no email on the website for Avalon. So it remains on my computer, waiting for the day that I might be able to send it. It's quite sad, really.

When it was first released, the books looked like this:

Somehow, eleven year old Kenra was attracted to that chaotic cover and risked checking it out at the library. Only ten of the twelve books were published in the old covers before they stopped it. In 2007 a new publishing company adopted the series and released the entire series with brand new covers and in-book illustrations. Did I also mention that I am so obsessed I am now collecting the old covers and any other merchandise I can find? Seriously guys, I'm not kidding when I say that I am obsessed.










2. The Unicorn Chronicles by Bruce Coville

I love unicorns.

No, seriously. I loooooooove  unicorns. I was taken out of the womb thinking about unicorns, or so I like to think.

And if you looooooove unicorns, then you'll loooooove these books. Actually, you'll probably love Bruce Coville because he is the master and commander of all books about unicorns. This man is a mad genius and he is the second author that I want to meet. (I have three authors on my list in total).

My sister introduced this series to me when I was probably eight or nine, I can't remember. Back then, they had different covers too. Wanna see?

This four-part series is about a young girl named Cara who gets sent to the world of Unicorns - called Luster - by her grandmother after a mysterious man starts pursuing her. She discovers that her grandmother is deeply connected to Luster which means that Cara is now a part of it too. She goes on a grand adventure with her unicorn friend Lightfoot and her beast-friend the Dimblethum and the small cat-monkey creature Squijim (He's my personal favourite).

The first book, Into the Land of the Unicorns was originally written in 1994 and followed by Song of the Wanderer in 1999. THEN, the third book was not released until 2008. THAT'S NINE YEARS PEOPLE! I had to wait until I was in junior high to finish the stupid series. Bruce Coville actually has a written apology in both the third and fourth book about how long it took for him to finish the series. At least the ending was worth it, because it is soooo good. Like I said, Bruce Coville is a mad genius.

Here's a funny story about this series. The fourth book, The Last Hunt was only released in hardback and then publications stopped. Which means that there are now only a limited amount of books for the fourth and final book. I did not know that and so I'd watch and wait for the paperback to come out, occasionally checking on Amazon to see if anything new had popped up. I finally forgot and gave up for a good chunk of time and when I remembered and looked again I was shocked to see the the final book was now over $100 on any place you went to buy it. Sometimes I found it for even $200. For about two years I dug through book stores, thrift stores and scoured every book-selling website to try and find my book. TWO YEARS PEOPLE. I even emailed Bruce Coville to see if he had any hopeful advice, turns out he's just as sad as me about the whole ordeal. I curse you Scholastic for doing this to my mad-genius author.

One fateful day, after a trip with friends to Salt Lake (specifically Barnes and Noble and Build-a-Bear...we know our priorities) I decided to check once again to see if any books were available and my heart jumped and then proceeded to plummet and beat out of control when I found a used copy for the all time low price of $20 FREAKIN' DOLLARS. I almost bought it right then and there on the train back home to Ogden. I resisted and waited until I got home to proceed to scream at my mom that I finally found one. My mom remained calm throughout the entire screamfest until she finally told me to just go and buy it (after I checked my banking account to make sure I was financially stable...which was literally the last thing on my mind). When it arrived in the mail, I was pulling out to go to work, so I grabbed it from the mail man and took it with me to work. I ripped it open in front of my two managers (both very manly men, by the way) and they proceeded to tease me the rest of the day about my 'unicorn' book. I did not care one inkling though.


3. Tiger's Curse by Colleen Houck

This four-part series was suggested to me by a friend of mine, and I am so so glad she did because it is now my heart and soul. This series is about Kelsey who gets a job at a circus tending the animals. A white tiger is at the circus and Kelsey becomes close friends with it. One day a strange Indian man (let me clarify; Indian meaning from India) shows up and offers Kelsey a job helping to transport the Tiger - named Ren - from the circus to India. Kelsey takes the job not knowing that Ren is a 300 year old prince cursed to remain in the form of a tiger. It's a die-hard romance and I ate up these books so freaking fast.

Colleen Houck is the third and final author that I hope to meet someday. She originally wrote this as an ebook, but it became so popular that Splinter Publishing published the series in physical copies. Colleen went from trying to self-publish to being incredibly popular, how inspiring is that? Plus, this series is set in India, a country that has a special place in my heart.

I have never resonated more deeply to any character than Kelsey in any other book series. She makes movie references (I'm convinced that she's a Trekkie) throughout the entire series and has a strong sense of willpower. It made the series all the more special to me to have a character that I could relate to on such a deep level.

Supposedly, Colleen Houck is writing a fifth book as a special surprise (even though the series has concluded), but its very top secret and there are no news as to when it will be released. I am so excited about it. There are also rumors of a movie, but who knows when or even if it will happen.

4. The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

J.R.R. Tolkien would be included as my fourth dream author to meet, but due to being born in a different era than him, that won't be possible in this life. Plus, from the research I've done on Tolkien, I get the feeling he wouldn't like me very much. Which is really understandable when you think of how differently our generations were raised.

I don't think its necessary to explain this series to you, but I will anyway. This six-part (seven including the hobbit) is about how small people save the world!!! That's about it in a nutshell.

In all seriousness, this series is a masterpiece. Tolkien built the most incredible world and created such beautiful languages. Tolkien studied and taught Philology: the study of language in historical texts, which was how he was able to create such intricately beautiful languages like Sindarin, Khuzdul and Rohirric (which is really only denting the surface of Middle Earth's languages.) Many of these unique speeches are loosely based off of languages from our own times. Finnish, Irish, Swedish, they are all inspiration for some of the languages we hear in Middle Earth.

This series is about war and peace, mercy or cruelty, hope or despair, light and dark, good and evil. It is the most epic fantasy series of its time and even beyond. I'd go so far as to say its still the most epic series of our time. Elves, dwarves, orcs, hobbits, Mumakil, Valar, Maiar and Eru Ilivuatar are just a small amount of the creatures and entities in this series. Tolkien built a history about this world that is so in-depth, so detailed and refined that there is no other world like it. This series is the reason why I want to still believe in magic. This series is the reason why I want to write and study and work hard even though I know I will never get to be as good as Tolkien. This series is the reason why we have six amazing films that allow us to see the wonders of Middle Earth. This series is the reason why I have a crush on rugged men, to be honest. I mean Aragorn is and always will be my imaginary boyfriend, as is Samwise Gamgee. I'd take either one.

Someday I'll strike up the courage to read The Silmarillion. Its the equivalent of our Bible, it's heavy stuff and a lot of information that flies over your head, but it has some great stuff in it too, like the history of Galadriel (another favourite of mine) and we get more into the Valar and the Maiar and Melkor the biggest baddest villain of all Arda (even badder than Sauron, who was his servant...gives you an idea of how bad this baddy was).

5. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

I read this after seeing the Ghibli film of this. My mom had told me that it was a weird book. Instantly I knew that I had to read this book. It's about a unassuming lady name Sophie who is suddenly cursed by the evil Witch of the Waste to take on the form of an old lady. Sophie decides to leave home and hobbles away and takes on the job of being the cleaning lady to the mysterious Wizard Howl and his magical moving castle. Sophie begins to uncover the mysteries behind Howl and the magic tied to him and a fire demon named Calcifer.

There is a dash of everything in this book. Humor, romance, adventure, magic, and mystery. It's such a great book and the film is completely different from the film, yet it doesn't bother me because they are both still really really good. This book isn't very long and can be read by itself even though there are two more books featuring Sophie and Howl. Its simple but hilarious and endearing. I love it so much.

I would include books like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter but there is nothing I could say that hasn't already been said, but just know that those two series are equally precious to my heart.

Runner Ups:

Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell

Gallagher Girls by Ally Carter

Dragonlance by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

...and so many more that I won't mention.

If you have any suggestions for books that I should read, put that suggestion in the comments below because I will always read new books.

Give It Time

I've had this discussion before, and it's going to sound like I'm beating an already dead horse (okay, that is such a horrible expression, where and why did this figure of speech become a thing?).

With a schedule that takes up a lot of my time (not all, but most), I've realized how valuable time is and it's been a juggling act trying to balance what I need to do with the things that I want to do. Video games or reading? Writing or playing the piano? Netflix or biking? Drawing or graphic design? I feel like my life is more structured but filled with chaos in between. Every day I know when I have my free time but I become so overwhelmed with what to do in my small free time that I end up doing nothing. Which is the worst decision I make.

It's so easy to become overwhelmed with the thought, I don't have enough time.

I'm divided between feeling elated that I'm making progress in my work and school and feeling overwhelmed because I make myself believe that I can't do everything I want to do in one day. I can't possibly find the time to do everything I want to do.

This sort of thinking has started to infect certain parts of my life, specifically my writing.

I talk about writing all the time, I write a blog sort of frequently, I write fanfiction and I have over twenty novels that I've started, you'd think I was pretty confident in what I write. The honest truth: I have absolute bottom-of-the-barrel confidence in my own talent. I don't think I'm a good writer.

I always thought that with practice came confidence. I practice writing, but I feel unsatisfied.

I've come to the realization that writing is completely dependent on your state of mind. If you're relaxed and in an environment that exudes comfort, it's easy for me to write. I don't feel like I have to impress anyone or anything. With the idea that I have no time, I've dug myself a hole. I feel like I can't possibly get good writing in while I'm going to school and working. It's a flawed perspective.

I've also come to the realization that I do my best writing alone. It doesn't matter if I'm writing an essay, fictional writing, or just a letter to a friend. When I'm around people - specifically around my friends that are writers too - I get the idea that I need to impress them somehow and I go to uncomfortable efforts to be as good as them. In the end, my work comes off looking cheap and I the diffident participant.

Where do you find that inner belief that we are doing well? Where do you find the fire that fuels you to keep trying even when you feel like giving up? Where do you find the will to ignore the distractions and competition and work for yourself? Where does courage come from? And how do I get it?

I think it starts with the decision to try.

Try to take it slow and to find courage in your own style. Not everyone gains confidence in the same way. Some people need the boost of other people, while others need the solace of their own mind. I personally need less people and more mind power. When it comes to writing, my style of writing is a constant quest. I haven't figured out the definite style that's me yet, and I think that's pretty great. I have time to mold myself. I'm going to take it slow to find the style that fits me, not what people expect me to fit in.

Try to forget the thoughts of others and only think of your goals, your aspirations. I used to discuss my stories with my friends, and I still do a lot, but I've noticed my story loses its course when its influenced by others. That isn't bad, and eventually it has to happen, but not during the rough draft. If you're easily influenced by what others say, make an effort to either gain a will of steel, or keep your thoughts with you until you're confident in your decisions. I have to remind myself that what I want is a completed novel, not a perfect one, that comes later in the game. I have to stay focused on

Realize that we all do things differently. For the longest time, I felt of lesser value because I'm not a University student and that I dropped out of school for a year and a half. Since starting school at my local tech college, that feeling has more or less subsided, until recently. My good good good friend is starting a creative writing class that's supposed to greatly improve your writing skills and she was telling me all about it and how excited she was. I suddenly felt the worthlessness again as I realized I couldn't take that class because I didn't attend University. I fell into a really dark mood when I thought that my writing wouldn't be any good unless I took a class too. I was afraid I'd suddenly come across as a cheap writer when I try to publish my novel because I didn't take a creative writing class. Here's the thing: everyone does life differently. My friend is a university student who's working to become an editor for novels. I'm a part time community tech college student who's working to become a graphic designer. We're doing things differently, but we're not doing either of them wrong. That's what I need to remember. You're skills are not of less worth because you do it different from somebody else. It's okay that I'm not taking that fancy creative writing class, I may have to work harder to be as good, but I know that I can do it.

I've been reading a lot of quotes lately, and I find that this particular one to the left of me is what I needed to hear. Right now, I'm wanting to be more than what I currently am. I want to be on a professional level on everything. I want the success without the process of earning that success. There is a gap right now. I'm trying to be creative, and I'm going to have to work for it. I'm not wrong when I say practice will eventually make perfect, I just have to give myself more time. Time is really what this blog post is all about. I'm only nineteen years old. I have time to become a better writer, I have time to be a better student, I have time to be a better person. I have to allow myself more time to work, to practice and I think one day I'll realize that I've jumped that gap and I'm on the other side.

So instead of saying that I don't have enough time, I'm going to say that I have all the time I need and I don't plan on wasting it feeling sorry. I'm going to bury myself in work and school and I won't quit, even when I feel like giving up. Gosh darn it, I'm going to finish my novel!


It's a big world with a lot of big dreams trying to take up all of the space. Don't be overwhelmed by somebody else's dreams. Find your own and fight for it.

With love,
Kenra Cook

Kenra Kreates

Get it? Kenra Kreates?..........I know, it's super cheesy. Sigh.

Anyways. Remember that post about me wanting to create stuff? Guess what guys?

I MADE SOMETHING!

I made the dreamcatcher that I said I would. I went to the craft store and got some leather cord, a metal ring and took about half a lifetime's worth picking which beads I wanted to put on my dreamcatcher.

And here is the final result:

Some people have told me it's different (the rock bead's too big) and some people have liked it. And for the longest time I was tempted to tear it apart and start over because of the different feedback (it wasn't entirely negative, but not entirely positive either) but after staring at it for days I decided that what other people thought really didn't matter compared to what I thought. I like my big fat rock, I'm a big fat girl. We have a lot in common, me and that rock.

That is what creating things is all about. It isn't about doing what people expect you to do, it's doing what you want to do. Sure, there are definitely boundaries to that statement, but overall, you have the control to make your art, your creations, into whatever you want. People will think what they will think and that isn't wrong or bad. I'm grateful that the people who didn't like my rock told me, I really am, I'm glad they trust me enough with their opinion to share it with me to my face. I appreciate that kind of honesty. That still doesn't stop me from keeping that big rock, I like my big rock. It's just a freedom of opinion. That's all. We're both right in the end.
because

So there we have it. A dreamcatcher and pep talk to go with it.

And because I had a few other dreamcaters I decided to make them my new closet decor. Just in case you were wondering, I only made one other of those dreamcatchers. The one next to my new one I made when I was around twelve or something like that. The other two I've collected. One from my sister, which is the beaded one. The other one with the green cord is from my mom who got it from an old relative I can't remember, needless to say, it's vintage.

So what will I be making next? Keep an eye out for another post soon!

Boxes

This week was a big week for anyone who loves The Goo Goo Dolls.

On May 6th of 2016, The Goo Goo Doll's 11th studio was released. It's called "Boxes" and I've already listened to it about ten times, I would have listened to it more by now except I have school and me being a law abiding citizen, I do have some self control. Needless to say, I am truly, deeply, madly in love with this new album. I say it every year, and I'm saying it again this year too.

It's so cool to see the progression of the music from the past six years. In 2010, "Something for the Rest of Us" was a rather dark and moody album for The Goo Goo Dolls. In interviews, Johnny Rzeznik even admits that it was rough time in their lives and it reflected in their music.

In 2013, the upbeat and energetic album "Magnetic" was released and it seemed like a chapter had turned for the members of The Goo Goo Dolls. Johnny married his sweetheart Melina Gallo in July and Robby was the father of a beautiful baby girl. Johnny described it as chaos though, there was a lot happening and he was in the center of it.

Now, 2016, I personally feel as if this new album's music is a reflection of Johnny moving past that chaos, exploring a new sound and finding a sort of pure feeling of what happiness is in this music. It's incredible to see the journey of my favourite band and to see the progression they have made. Robby being a father, Johnny being sober for the past 15 months. It feels like this is a great time to be a Goo Goo Doll.

I felt uplifted with every song I heard. There wasn't one song where I felt like I wasn't being told I was enough, to be brave, that every moment's a chance to live again. The lyrics are so masterfully done, I'm moved every time I listen to the songs and I'll catch a new phrase I didn't hear before that I think this was written just for me.

If you have any sort of interest in this album, I strongly suggest you take a listen to it. It's on Spotify, it's on iTunes, it's on Google and Amazon. It's everywhere. Find it, love it. I totally adored it to pieces and can't wait to listen to it for the rest of my life. That's the great thing about music, it's a permanent addition to your life.