A Testimony of the Plan of Salvation

Another dear friend of mine, K, has lost their father. I feel like I am reliving last month all over again. The confusion, the hurt, and the need to help yet not knowing how.

It's been really hard lately to talk about death. Three of my coworkers have lost someone: one's father died of diabetes, one died of brain cancer, and one died a natural death. Then there were two deaths in my own ward, both were elderly people. Less than a year ago, a son of my dad's coworker was killed on his mission, and a month ago another of my dad's coworkers died. Kennedy Hansen died recently also, and then Jason's father and now K's father.

For the longest time now, I have wondered to myself, "Why are so many people dying? And why all at the same time?" I was confused and I was hurting for my friends.

But then after Jason's father's death and also the death of one of his own friends, my dad mentioned something that completely changed my perspective. He said that they were being sent to the other side in order for their family work to be done. Some of these families don't have a helping hand on the other side, and need one. Heavenly Father is calling his faithful followers back to him in order for His work to hasten. It brought comfort to me. These families aren't being punished. They are being blessed. They now have an angel to look after them and to assure that their family work is done. And I don't think it is a coincidence that most of these individuals are priesthood holders.

It's because of what my dad said that I can still smile at this time. I know that all of these people were faithful members of the church, they were righteous followers and they have a strong testimony.

I can testify that the Plan of Salvation is true. There is a reason why some people call it the Plan of Happiness because in the end, we will see our loved ones again and we will be happy. That is what the Gospel is all about. To bring families together again and bring about pure and true happiness. It will be hard for us to live without the people we love, but we can celebrate their lives, and celebrate the fact that they made it. They are safe and they are blessed. How grateful I am to live in a church that teaches me that death is not the end. How grateful I am to know that I will see my cousin who passed away in 2011, that my friends will see their fathers again. How grateful I am to know that mothers will one day be able to hold their stillborn child, but this time with the child full of life, and how grateful I am to be sealed to my family for time and all eternity.

It's just like the Primary song teaches:

Families can be together forever,
Through Heavenly Father's plan
I always want to be with my own family,
And the Lord has shown me how I can.

I bear testimony that this church is true. It is a comfort to me in times like these, and I know it can bring comfort to every one who opens their heart to its teachings. I know that families are forever, and that one day we will all be united again. I know that if we hold strong and remain faithful, that one day we ourselves will go to heaven and join our loved ones.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelation 21:4

"Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and resurrection--Behold, it had been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who game them life." Alma 40:11

Fabulous Nonsense

So I want to write, but I honestly have no idea what to write about. I've started this draft over multiple times. At first it was going to be about Fictional Characters, and then it was going to be about serious things like growing up, and then it was going to be about my life, and now it's just me typing absolute nonsense.

But nonsense is good sometimes, right?

Well, if you are the Mad Hatter, nonsense is fabulous!

So I guess today is all about being fabulous, and maybe catching up on my life. That does seem sort of important since this blog is written to chronicle my life. It would defeat the purpose to talk about my neighbor's life, what fun would that be?

So in a single word I'm going to describe my summer so far:

Work.

That's right. For the past two to three weeks I have had only like two days off. Is that not brutal? When you are standing for five and a half hours every single day with only one ten-minute break to sit down, your body begins to hate you. It starts with the heels, then the ankles, then the back, and then suddenly the rest of your body wants to join in the pain just for the fun of it until your whole body is aching and you have this massive headache, and then you become exhausted, collapse into bed without showering, and then wake up realizing you have to do it all over again! Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I love working with people and making them smile, I just wish it didn't require me to stand the whole freaking time!

But I can't exactly change rules that were enforced long before I was even born, so I continue to stand and wait for my body to crumple into a heaping, pathetic pile of pain and defeat.

Don't worry, it's really not all that bad. But it is disappointing to know that your whole summer is being spent in a grocery store. Not my idea of an ideal graduating senior summer. 

But I really can't complain since 1) I went to Disneyland, 2) I'm going to Hank Green and the Driftless Pony Club concert and 3) I'm going to the Goo Goo Dolls concert.

And then there is Netflix.

I have watched far too many episodes of Winx Club, Sherlock, Robin Hood, and Supernatural lately. I sometimes wish I could pause time so I can hurry and watch a season and then come back to real time without having wasted a single minute. I can't believe how quickly time disappears when you just sit and binge watch, and then you realize you just spent 12 hours in front of the TV.

So I guess my summer hasn't been so bad. I was able to meet with Jason and we had the most amazing discussion about the Plan of Salvation. I am so impressed with Jason. During our conversation he smiled wide and said, "My dad is where he is meant to be and I just know he is doing whatever work needs to be done." It's faith like that makes the difference. Jason could easily be upset at God for taking his father, but his faith and his love made it possible for him to see that his father and his family are actually being blessed. I was so proud to see Jason talk about his mission. It's amazing to see these missionaries turn into real men first hand. I can remember when Jason was just Jason, but now he is so much more and he is going to do amazing things now that he is back on his mission.

So I guess the main point of this blog post is that you should never put off writing. I could write so much more fabulous nonsense, but I may bore you to tears. So let me wish you all a wonderful life and remember that each of you are precious children of God and He loves you!

What does the Future Hold???

Today is graduation day.

The past eighteen years of my life, what I considered normal, it's all about to end. No more alarm clocks at 6:00 in the morning. No more of mom telling me to turn my shirt right side out. No more lockers, no more counselors tracking my every decision. All of a sudden my choices are mine, I have to fend for myself.

I am terrified.

What if I'm not ready for the real world? What if it just shakes at my head at me and says, "You just ain't ready, kid." But I can't exactly go back to high school, now can I?

In less then five hours, my high school years are over.

Am I sad? Sort of, but it's more like I'm uncomfortable. I've been used to doing the same schedule everyday since 1st grade and up. I've always had a teacher, or my parents next to me and encouraging me along the way. They've told how to do this, they've paid for me for that, and they told me not to that. All of sudden, the training wheels are gone and I have to learn how to ride the bike all by myself. I want the training wheels back, it's more secure, it's comfortable. But I want to be able to ride by myself and be independent too. I'm not comfortable with all of a sudden having a sack full of responsibilities on my back. I'm willing to and even deep down inside I'm excited to be independent. But it's scary.

The worst part about graduation, is losing the friends that were with you from day one. I have the most amazing friends, to describe them in a word: original. What do we do for fun? Ride unicycles, pet donkeys, and play in parks at one in the morning, we sort of ruled the world, or more specifically our world. All of sudden, we're about to through the caps in the air, say goodbye, and possibly never see each other again? I'm not okay with that. I know I can't expect them to stay, and they can't expect me to, but it's hard to say goodbye after we've gone through so many things together. That quote about not knowing what you have until it's gone speaks absolute truth. I didn't think about how great my friends are until I'm about to lose them.

The truth of the matter is, is that I don't like change. It's a fire-breathing beast that doesn't miss a single human being. It enjoys seeing us squirm, it likes to put twists in our lives. As much as I wish I could just slay the beast of change, I can't. Without change, we would never learn. Without change, we would live the most monotonous and superficial lives. Our lives would have no meaning, no depth. It would be nothing.

So when I really think about it. College is going to give me the chance to meet new friends, maybe. College will help me become the person I've dreamed about. College is change, and I think I'm ready for it. I think I'm ready to be a big girl now. While I am scared for whatever new monsters I have to face, I'm getting my sword sharpened and I'm ready to face anything comes. I'm becoming my own heroine, and let all know that I'm about to make my victory!

Dealing With Death

Just 24 hours ago, the world lost one amazing man. In his early forties, Mr. Nicholas passed away from a heart attack, and an injury to the head. This man was the father of three children, one of them being my best friend, Jason. He was the member of the bishopric in our religion, and was a loved and respected. While I knew his son more than Mr. Nicholas, I can recall such fond memories of him cooking us steak, telling us wild stories of scouts, and making us all smile and laugh.

Jason was involved and band, but he, just like his dad, made an impression on everyone he met. He made everyone feel loved and appreciated and brought joy to everyone he came in contact with. As we got to know Jason, we got to know his family, and we came to love the whole family. Just last fall, Jason left on a two-year LDS mission and has done amazing things. There are a lot of people in plain ole' Plain City that support and love Jason. No one even suspected that something so tragic could happen.

If you had looked down the music department, you would have seen a very somber scene. Students from Mr. Nicholas' ward and close friends of Jason all grouped together and took a moment to mourn over what had happened yesterday.

While I was very sad about what happened, all I could think was, But he's in a better place now. We don't need to be sad. I know how hard it is to deal with death, but in my religion we believe that Heavenly Father has a divine plan for every single person. I think Mr. Nicholas' divine plan has been completed, he did what our Lord in Heaven asked for and now he can return home to Heavenly Father. He has been a righteous follower, and a righteous leader also. It was obvious that he had left an impression on a lot of kids at our school, this man was someone everyone loved and that was a gift given from God. He did a lot of good in the world, and while it's hard for the living to deal with life without him, he is probably happy and excited to do the job set for him up in heaven. I can just see him already getting down to business, and I can see that Jason now has one more angel watching over him while he is out of they country. I felt like that rather than mourning his death, we should celebrate that he is one step closer to eternal happiness.

But it was still hard to see so many of my friends suffering. It just proves that one man really can make a difference, and that once he's gone, it's almost like ripples in the water, it flows out and affects other ripples in the water. We as human beings, do not realize just how valued we are. It's like the old saying goes, "You don't know what you have until it's gone."

So in this time of sadness/joy, remember that you are worth something, and that death is not the end, but rather the closing of a book and moving on to the sequel. I mourn for those that were left behind, but one day, we will all be with Mr. Nicholas again someday, hand in hand, reunited. The end is really only the beginning.

As the day wore on, I saw that some were still really upset about what happened. I started to become more concerned about them, I've always been taught to think positively, and maybe that was engraved to much in my childhood because I now am afraid that staying sad too long will affect you in serious ways. And so I reminded them of all of the great qualities of Mr. Nicholas: he was always smiling, always making us laugh, he was selfless and accepting of everyone. This man sounds like someone who would hate to see such a sad scene here on earth. I think rather than mourning, we need to follow his example, and try to make others smile, try to be more Christ-like and less involved in the vain things of the world. I reminded them that he lived a good and fulfilling life. He raised three beautiful kids and he taught them from right from wrong, he did just a good parent should, and I'm proud of him for that.

While saying goodbye is hard, it's nice to know that this is not the end. I can't help but smile when I imagine Mr. Nicholas getting down to business up in heaven, never taking a breath until the work is done. Rest in peace, Mr. Nicholas, you planted a seed within our hearts, one that will grow because of your example.

Why Do I Blog?

Have you ever wondered, why do I keep doing this? Have you ever had this grand idea and once you start doing it, you realize that you've forgotten the main reason why you even did this specific idea? Am I even making any sense to you?

Well, to be completely honest. Lately I've felt like my blogging has been below average. It's not that movie reviews aren't exciting, but I feel like lately that's all I've been doing. Suddenly I got so caught up in life, and worrying about what people would think of me, that I forgot why I truly wanted to blog. I forgot the reason why even started this? Why do keep blogging?

And then one day, I happened upon one of my good friend's younger sister's blog. She was so honest and expressive and she wrote about whatever she wanted. She shared personal experiences, she shared pictures, and it made me laugh and even very touched. I suddenly remembered why I started a blog. I wanted to talk about life. I wanted to write. I wanted to put a bit of myself in the world, and somehow change it one small blog post at a time. I don't plan on becoming the next top blogger, but I at least make an effort, and that is all that matters to me.

I hope this blog not only pushes you to pursue your own aspirations and dreams, but that it will urge me to start blogging the way I want to. I may make a few mistakes, I may embarrass myself at times, but I've made it a goal to simply write. That's all I have ever wanted to do with my life. I want to one day sit in a white wicker lounge chair, wearing a sundress with a straw hat on and my thick long hair braided back, my feet bare, and buried in the sand while I write about not only my life, but about the lives of all the characters that live in my head. I hope that one day my own stories, the ones from my imagination, can be published. And even if only one person reads my book, I hope that they feel something from it. 

So, my dear internet, here I am in my hermit hole, starting to chronicle my life. May this journey stay strong, and may it be rewarding to all who read it.

Sincerely,

Kenra Cook

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

-Ernest Hemingway