Words Written: 4,071
Feeling: Depressed
This is the first time ever in my NaNoWriMo experience that I have ever felt this defeated before; and never have I felt the urge so strongly to delete what I wrote and just give up. I had a lot of goals and dream, a lot of optimism and hope, but not anymore. What I have written is worse than I could imagine, and I'm disappointed and downtrodden.
Is this even worth it? Is it worth it to put forth so much effort to get nothing in return? Is it worth it to know that in the end you'll just be embarrassed and ashamed by what you write?
I don't feel like a writer right now. I feel like a failure and I want to give up.
Even when I have been on the last week of NaNoWriMo with 6,000 words behind schedule, I still had the confidence and the willpower to keep writing. It's day two and I don't have either. I feel like I'm wasting my time. I'm not going to get better and I'm not going to impress anyone. It doesn't help that when I try to share a piece of my work, I get no response. Did you know I'm still waiting for that critique I mentioned in my blog post late September?
I won't give up yet. It's too early to stop when I've only just begun. I just hope tomorrow is a better day.
50,000...maybe coming soon...
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