What does the Future Hold???

Today is graduation day.

The past eighteen years of my life, what I considered normal, it's all about to end. No more alarm clocks at 6:00 in the morning. No more of mom telling me to turn my shirt right side out. No more lockers, no more counselors tracking my every decision. All of a sudden my choices are mine, I have to fend for myself.

I am terrified.

What if I'm not ready for the real world? What if it just shakes at my head at me and says, "You just ain't ready, kid." But I can't exactly go back to high school, now can I?

In less then five hours, my high school years are over.

Am I sad? Sort of, but it's more like I'm uncomfortable. I've been used to doing the same schedule everyday since 1st grade and up. I've always had a teacher, or my parents next to me and encouraging me along the way. They've told how to do this, they've paid for me for that, and they told me not to that. All of sudden, the training wheels are gone and I have to learn how to ride the bike all by myself. I want the training wheels back, it's more secure, it's comfortable. But I want to be able to ride by myself and be independent too. I'm not comfortable with all of a sudden having a sack full of responsibilities on my back. I'm willing to and even deep down inside I'm excited to be independent. But it's scary.

The worst part about graduation, is losing the friends that were with you from day one. I have the most amazing friends, to describe them in a word: original. What do we do for fun? Ride unicycles, pet donkeys, and play in parks at one in the morning, we sort of ruled the world, or more specifically our world. All of sudden, we're about to through the caps in the air, say goodbye, and possibly never see each other again? I'm not okay with that. I know I can't expect them to stay, and they can't expect me to, but it's hard to say goodbye after we've gone through so many things together. That quote about not knowing what you have until it's gone speaks absolute truth. I didn't think about how great my friends are until I'm about to lose them.

The truth of the matter is, is that I don't like change. It's a fire-breathing beast that doesn't miss a single human being. It enjoys seeing us squirm, it likes to put twists in our lives. As much as I wish I could just slay the beast of change, I can't. Without change, we would never learn. Without change, we would live the most monotonous and superficial lives. Our lives would have no meaning, no depth. It would be nothing.

So when I really think about it. College is going to give me the chance to meet new friends, maybe. College will help me become the person I've dreamed about. College is change, and I think I'm ready for it. I think I'm ready to be a big girl now. While I am scared for whatever new monsters I have to face, I'm getting my sword sharpened and I'm ready to face anything comes. I'm becoming my own heroine, and let all know that I'm about to make my victory!